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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26221672">A Day In The Life Of The Phantom Thieves</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalThespian/pseuds/DigitalThespian'>DigitalThespian</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hanging Out, Implied Ryuji/Haru, Implied Sexual Content, It's talked about but not depicted, Metaverse Shenanigans, Mild Spoilers, Post-Canon, Sakura Sojiro Adopts Persona 5 Protagonist, Team as Family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:07:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,737</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26221672</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalThespian/pseuds/DigitalThespian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Thieves all hang out and talk about stuff. And roast each other, because what are friends for?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kitagawa Yusuke/Sakura Futaba, Kurusu Akira/Niijima Makoto, Suzui Shiho/Takamaki Ann</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Day In The Life Of The Phantom Thieves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Working title: "the thieves hang out and talk about a whole buncha shit"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"He's <em>not</em> a delinquent! I can't believe people sometimes.." Makoto grumbled to herself, and Akira draped his arm around her shoulders to gently pull her closer.</p><p>"Yeah! Obviously our Makoto had him pegged from the start!" Ryuji grinned.</p><p>"..you can say <em>that</em> again," Futaba muttered.</p><p>Makoto turned bright red. "<em>Futaba</em>!!"</p><p>There was a long silence where everyone stared in shock at the two, with the exception of Yusuke. "I'm afraid I seem to have missed something; is there another meaning to 'having him pegged' that I'm not aware of?"</p><p>Futaba grinned and opened her mouth to speak, but was quickly silenced by a classic example of the 'Nijima Death Glare'.</p><p>Unfortunately for Makoto, there was but one person immune to said glare, and that person was currently present: Haru.</p><p>Makoto turned to see her whispering in Yusuke's ear, and she knew the jig was up. "Ah, I see." Much to everyone's surprise, he turned to Futaba. "So that's what you were alluding to when you asked if I had—"</p><p>"Okay that's enough of that!" Futaba was hiding behind her laptop screen, and Akira swore he could see steam coming out of her ears.</p><p>"What's wrong? You can dish it out but you can't take it?" Akira grinned. "Also, Yusuke; I trust you with my life, as was likely made clear by our Thieves shenanigans. However, it is my solemn duty as a big brother to threaten you if you hurt my little sister."</p><p>"Ah, I seem to have misunderstood again. I was under the impression that any danger posed by a potential lapse in safety would be felt on the side of the receiving party. I will be careful." There was a second silence, even more incredulous then the first.</p><p>"Did—Did Yusuke just—" Ryuji stared openly.</p><p>"I don't see what the 'big deal' is, as you would say; I am an artist, and as such I wish to experience as much of the human condition as possible. Varying forms of sexual congress are—"</p><p>The room burst into an uproar. "Damn, Yusuke's got game!"</p><p>"<em>Ryuji</em>!!" Makoto snapped.</p><p>The blond in question held his hands up defensively. "What?? I'm just saying!"</p><p>"Excuse me," He turned in surprise as Yusuke spoke up again. "But if Futaba was the one who solicited me, would that not mean it is she who 'has game'?"</p><p>"<em>For real</em>?! Futaba was really asking to—" Ryuji was abruptly silenced by a hand over his mouth.</p><p>"Now, now, I think we've embarrassed Futaba enough." Haru smiled sweetly, but it was abundantly clear that the discussion was over. "I started this, and so I'm finishing it."</p><p>Futaba remained in hiding, but she managed to squeak out a "Thanks Haru."</p><p>"Oh, certainly. Now, back to the matter at hand." Her smile remained, but the gathered Thieves recognized the dangerous glint in her eyes all too well from their days fighting shadows. "What's this about someone slandering our poor Akira?"</p><p>"Libel," Akira murmured.</p><p>Everyone turned to look at him with varying expressions; most confused, but Makoto just laughed softly, and Haru nodded once. "Ah, of course. It <em>is</em> the school paper, after all."</p><p>Ryuji looked back and forth between Akira, Makoto, and Haru. "What are we even talking about? What the eff is 'libel'?"</p><p>"Slander is spoken, libel is written." Akira shrugged. "It's a nitpick, I know, but they're slightly different subsets of 'defamation'."</p><p>"What if someone reads a written source out loud?" Morgana cocked his head to the side.</p><p>"It depends on if they're the author, and what their intent is. If they're just reading it like 'hey get a load of this', then that's nothing. If they <em>wrote</em> it, then it's both, provided the written source is accessible to the public. If they didn't but they're also on the author's side, it's just slander; the author is guilty of libel." Akira paused. "At least, I'm pretty sure that's how that works. I'm only just now getting into the details in my Public Relations class."</p><p>Makoto stared at him for a moment with pride and admiration. "You're gonna be a <em>fantastic</em> politician."</p><p>"I don't know about that.." Akira twisted a lock of hair nervously.</p><p>"No way, man! You're gonna kick some serious ass out there!"</p><p>"I would have to agree with Ryuji; you possess a certain way with words, along with a flair for the dramatic that could stir passion in the most apathetic of hearts."</p><p>"Just accept it, dear. We're all going to be here supporting you no matter what happens, whether you like it or not!"</p><p>"In the Metaverse, I'm the only support, but out here? This is an all-support-one strat! You carry the team, we'll back you up!"</p><p>"And if you would like to, I've had a few ideas already regarding public support for legislation regarding ethical treatment of workers! I don't like to abuse my power in Okumura Foods, but I don't think it would be inappropriate to pilot such a policy should you draft one!"</p><p>"Well, I feel like it's a bit hard to follow that one, but I'll be here with you too! If I can help you out using my public image as a model—uh, somehow—then, I will!"</p><p>"And <em>I'll</em> make sure you don't work yourself to death!" Morgana reared up on his hind legs, swiping at the air with his paws. "<em>RAWRR! GO TO BED!</em>"</p><p>There was a chorus of laughter, and Akira looked around the room at his friends, his family. "Thanks guys, I—" His voice hitched as he struggled to speak around the rapidly growing lump in his throat. "I don't know what I'd do without you.." Tears welled up in his eyes, and the group quickly pulled him into a hug.</p><p>"Aw man, you're gonna make <em>me</em> cry, dude!"</p><p>"Good! <em>You</em> lot made me cry, now you can cry with me!"</p><p>Despite his faux-harsh words, surrounded by the people he loved the most?</p><p>Akira's smile couldn't have been wider.</p><p>After a few moments, everyone pulled away, shuffling back a few feet to where they had been previously. There was a moment of silence.</p><p>"But really though, who the <em>fuck</em> is talking shit about Akira? Because I will.." Futaba trailed off at Makoto's glare. "..will take great pains to exact vengeance within the boundaries of the law?" She smiled entirely unconvincingly, hunching up her shoulders.</p><p>"..I'll accept that this time. But <em>only</em> because it's Akira." Makoto blushed slightly.</p><p>"Surely you don't believe that she will remain <em>entirely</em> inside the boundaries—"</p><p>"Plausible deniability, Inari."</p><p>"Ah. I see, she simply needs to be able to look the other way—"</p><p>"Yes, Yusuke, pal, we know what plausible deniability is." All eyes fell on Ryuji. "What? I'm not some dumb meathead! I know things!"</p><p>"Like what?" Morgana challenged.</p><p>"Man, you seriously want me to pull a random fact out of my ass?! That's not how it works!"</p><p>"I knew you couldn't do it."</p><p>"This is <em>bullshit</em>! C'mon, guys, back me up here!"</p><p>"Ryuji, why don't you tell them what you were telling me the other day about the potential applications of underwater resistance training?" Haru smiled softly, gesturing for him to start.</p><p>"Oh, yeah!" Ryuji turned back to the group excitedly, slapping a fist into his palm. "So I've been looking into ways to help people prevent bone degradation, and how to prevent further damage if they already have some, like I do, and I realized 'Wait, isn't this like, a huge problem for astronauts?' so since I've been looking into underwater exercise anyway—it minimizes impact force, like when your foot hits the ground—I started looking for ways to make water-based resistance training effective with the smallest possible volume, cause space is kinda limited in.. ya'know, <em>space</em>, and then I got the idea to double an aquaponics chamber as a workout environment, cause the water isn't for drinking anyway, and in space the astronaut's diet is so controlled that we know exactly what compounds will be present in their sweat and stuff—"</p><p>Futaba stuck out her tongue. "Ew, gross."</p><p>Ryuji shot her a glare. "Hey, we gotta think about this kinda shit! Anyway, if we know what's gonna be in the water we can adjust for it when we pick what plants and fish are in the chamber, which means we don't need to bring workout equipment except for a breathing mask, which, again, <em>space</em>, so it's not even extra weight, <em>and</em> it leaves extra room in their living space for other shit."</p><p>The entire group were staring openly now, with the exception of Haru, who was beaming proudly.</p><p>"Holy shit, Ryuji. You're like.. <em>Actually</em> really smart," Ann's voice was faint.</p><p>"Well yeah, all that stuff in school was just boring as hell! This is actually cool!" Ryuji crossed his arms as everyone laughed. "What? You guys asked!"</p><p>"No, no," Akira wiped his eyes. "That was just.. That was just such a <em>Ryuji</em> answer. We all know you're capable of a lot, and yet we still never see it coming because you have really narrow interests; but damn if you don't know more than any of us in those areas."</p><p>Morgana was quiet, and Ryuji turned to him with a grin that was equal parts smug and triumphant. "Well? Are you satisfied?"</p><p>"Yeah." Morgana's calm answer was surprising to everyone, especially Ryuji. "I'm sorry for doubting you, Ryuji."</p><p>But not as surprising as the apology. "F-For real?! Just like that?"</p><p>Morgana scowled. "Hey, I'm not stagnant either! I can grow as a person too! Just because I didn't see eye to eye with you in the past doesn't mean I can't acknowledge when I'm being petty now."</p><p>There was a squeal, followed by a drawn out yowl as Haru swept Morgana up into her arms. "Oh, I'm so <em>proud</em> of you Morgana!!"</p><p>"Ack! Too tight Haru!"</p><p>"Oh dear, I'm so sorry! Sometimes I forget my own strength!"</p><p>The Thieves collectively remembered Haru cleaving shadows in half with an axe in one swing, giggling all the way, and wisely decided not to say anything. Haru let Morgana down, and he excused himself. "I'm not going to be much help on the retribution front; there's not much I can do in this form, and I'm <em>not</em> stooping to the level of peeing on their stuff."</p><p>"Though it <em>would</em> be the perfect crime.." Makoto mused.</p><p>Morgana paused, his interest piqued; he had heard the words 'perfect crime', and the master thief in him couldn't resist. "..I'm listening."</p><p>"Talking cats don't exist." Makoto held up a hand to stop the indignant reply forming on Morgana's tongue. "You're not a cat, I know; that's my point. Talking cats <em>don't</em> exist. To prosecute the crime, they'd first need to prove that a crime was committed to begin with. In your current body, any tests done on the urine would indicate a cat did it. Since talking cats aren't real, there's no ground to stand on legally. What judge would accept a case that 'a cat with human-level intelligence and a vendetta peed on my stuff'?"</p><p>There were scattered chuckles as the group considered the absurdity of such a case being brought before a court. Makoto smiled to herself at the idea before continuing. "You have the distinct advantage that you can only be heard by those of us who have entered the Metaverse; even if by chance someone else involved <em>has</em> somehow been in the Metaverse, they wouldn't understand why they could understand you. They'd be more likely to think they were going crazy, or at least, they'd be aware that they'd be perceived as such should they try to say anything about it."</p><p>"You know, I've been meaning to ask about that. On Christmas Eve, didn't Mementos get brought to Tokyo? Doesn't that mean everyone in Tokyo should be able to understand him?" Ryuji scratched the back of his head.</p><p>"..holy shit. I'd never thought of that." Akira sat up, wide eyed, but then sagged. "Oh, but Sojiro doesn't understand him, so that kinda rules that out, huh?"</p><p>"They have to have heard me." Morgana was quiet, pensive. "And our voices rang out across the city.. Which means the confidants who can remember that day should be able to understand me. Should mean, at least.." He drooped, and the others exchanged glances.</p><p>"Hey, maybe there's more to it than that..?" Ann sounded unsure, despite her best efforts.</p><p>"Yeah, maybe they have to know it was you!" Futaba exclaimed. "I have an idea! <em>SOJIRO</em>!!" The other occupants of the attic flinched at the sudden volume. "Morgana, can you do any impressions?"</p><p>"Wha—I mean, it's not something I've really tried.." He looked helplessly at Akira. "I think Joker is the only one I'd be able to try, Akira's the one I've heard talk the most, and Joker has a really distinctive way of speaking."</p><p>The group nodded along and Akira scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "Is it really that distinctive?"</p><p>Everyone nodded again. "Yeah, kinda. It's really.. dramatic, but not in a bad way?" Ryuji shrugged.</p><p>Makoto said something under her breath, and Akira leaned in to hear her better. "I can't hear you, what did you say? Wait, are you <em>blushing</em>? Aww, Makoto!"</p><p>"I'm definitely not repeating it if you're going to be like that!" She crossed her arms and turned away, and Akira held up his hands in surrender.</p><p>"He's coming up! Get ready to do a Joker impression, quick!" Futaba whipped around to face Morgana.</p><p>"I don't know why—Oh, fine!" Futaba gestured wildly at him until he agreed.</p><p>"Hey, Sojiro, we need your opinion on something! We're trying to see who does the best impression of our illustrious leader!"</p><p>It dawned on Akira what Futaba was planning. "Oh, you crafty—" He drew himself up, taking off his glasses and holding his hand in front of his face to evoke that signature Joker flair. "Here's a little tone-setter, Morgana."</p><p>Makoto blushed again, though it went mercifully unnoticed.</p><p>Sojiro's voice drifted from downstairs. "Why did you need to yell at me for this?"</p><p>"Come onnnn Sojiro!!"</p><p>"Ugh, fine. Who's first?"</p><p>"We can't tell you, we want it to be totally impartial!"</p><p>"Can I at least hear the kid first for a baseline?"</p><p>"Sure thing!" Futaba nudged Morgana, giving a thumbs up.</p><p>He seemed skeptical, but he drew himself up in a similar fashion. "Satanael! <em>Pillage them</em>!"</p><p>There was a pause. "..Okay, you guys are obviously messing with me, that sounded nothing like the kid."</p><p>The attic burst into excited chatters. "Oh my god it worked!" "FOR REAL?!" "Morgana you did it!"</p><p>"Wait, Morgana? Are you trying to tell me that was <em>Morgana</em>? The <em>cat</em>?!"</p><p>"For the last time, I'm <em>not a cat</em>!"</p><p>Sojiro came up the stairs with a dumbfounded expression. "No way. There's no way."</p><p>"Can you understand me?" Morgana looked intently at him.</p><p>He stared openly with his mouth open, then answered without looking away. "Futaba, I gotta hand it to you; this is your most elaborate prank yet."</p><p>"Not a prank, Sojiro. Welcome to the privileged few who can talk to a being who looks like but is most definitely not a cat."</p><p>"So that really <em>was</em> the cat. I'll be damned."</p><p>"We <em>just</em> said I'm not a cat!"</p><p>"You look like one, and you act like one, so as far as my old brain is concerned, you're a cat. Or I guess you're a talking cat. You get your own category at least."</p><p>Morgana huffed. "I guess that'll have to do." His expression slowly shifted to wonder. "Wait. This means the other confidants will be able to understand me." He whirled around, pouncing into Akira's lap. "We have to go see Tae! And Iwai! And—"</p><p>Akira laughed. "Easy there buddy, we should probably ask them before we go pulling any stunts like this." He looked at Sojiro apologetically. "We would have asked you, but to be honest this was more of a stab in the dark, spur-of-the-moment kind of plan. We had no idea if it would work."</p><p>Sojiro sighed. "I appreciate it. It's for the best anyway; if he's smart enough to talk and he lives in my shop it'd be good to be able to understand him."</p><p>"This is great! Now Sojiro can understand all of us!" Haru clapped her hands together happily.</p><p>The bell chimed from downstairs, and Sojiro turned. "I gotta go; try to not to traumatize anyone, alright?"</p><p>"No promises~!" Futaba called cheerfully.</p><p>Sojiro gave a long suffering sigh and headed back downstairs.</p><p>"So, Morgana. Why that quote?"</p><p>"You put me on the spot; it was the only one I could bring to mind clearly enough to do."</p><p>"Honestly, if it wasn't for the difference in pitch, that was a pretty good impersonation." Akira nodded in approval.</p><p>"You gotta do it now, Akira!"</p><p>"I can't, not with customers downstairs. I don't think I could deliver that line at less than full volume," He shrugged sheepishly. "Joker is hard to channel outside of the Metaverse; the circumstances have to be right."</p><p>"That is understandable. I cannot say I relate, as Fox and I are one and the same, but Joker has always had a certain.. gravitas to him that never carried over to reality."</p><p>Akira made a face. "I'm not sure whether I should be insulted or not."</p><p>"No, Inari's right. I think it's the fact that you can use multiple Personas; we all only have one, so it's just.. us. But you? You have a whole bunch, and they're all <em>parts</em> of you. Satanael is probably something really primal, something that you'd have to dig up from deep inside yourself. Joker is the same; he's you, but you if you were turned up to 11. He's all of your Personas at once, whereas Akira is all your Personas but dialed back until they <em>total</em> 100%."</p><p>Akira stared vacantly into space in the wake of Futaba's assessment. "Huh. You.. That's pretty much it. I'd never thought about it, but you're absolutely right. On both counts, actually. Arsene was my 'base' Persona, I guess you could say, and Satanael was the awakened version of him, like Prometheus is to Necronomicon. So he's <em>very</em> primal."</p><p>"So the embodiment of 'Joker' is a giant, god-killing demon. Does that mean Akira is the gentleman thief?"</p><p>"..he certainly stole <em>some</em>thing.." Makoto spoke under her breath, then flushed crimson as she realized this time her commentary had <em>not</em> gone unnoticed.</p><p>Ann clapped her hands to her cheeks. "<em>AWW!! MAKOTO THAT WAS SO CUTE!!</em>"</p><p>Everyone flinched away from Ann with their hands over their ears. "Ann, take it easy!" "Owww.."</p><p>With the group's attention diverted, Ann shot Makoto a subtle wink, who nodded thankfully. She turned to Futaba. "Hey, wait a minute, what even made you think of trying that? That was a seriously out-there idea, and it <em>worked</em>!"</p><p>Futaba pushed her glasses up her nose and grinned. "I figured that they actually did hear him, but their brain refused to connect the voice to the cat. I thought that maybe I could 'prime' Sojiro's subconscious and conscious mind to be in a state like 'I am about to hear a person, and I have to identify this person based on their voice' which would send what he heard straight to logical processing, which is a conscious thing, so his unconscious mind couldn't stop him from hearing it."</p><p>Everyone stared a moment. "I always forget you know a ton of shit that isn't related to computers."</p><p>She pouted. "I'm multi-dimensional! I'm not <em>just</em> the moe hacker girl."</p><p>"...what does that even <em>mean</em>?" Makoto sounded so earnestly confused that Akira couldn't help but snort. She turned to him with an indignant expression, fists at her sides. "Akira! Don't make fun of me!"</p><p>He put up his hands. "I'm not, I'm not, you just sounded so.. <em>engrossed</em> in finding out this thing you didn't know, and it was very <em>you</em>, and it was cute."</p><p>She blushed yet again. "Akira.."</p><p>"God, will you two get a room?" Ryuji let his head fall back.</p><p>Akira raised an eyebrow. "Ryuji, this <em>is</em> my room."</p><p>"..oh, right. Sorry."</p><p>"Should we vacate the premise, then? We have no shortage of places to congregate, should you wish to—" Yusuke was cut off by a hand over his mouth.</p><p>"What he means to say is, with all we've seen and been through together, asking for some private time to enjoy yourselves is a pittance in comparison." Haru smiled. "We trusted each other with our lives. I think we can trust each other—to some extent—with our sex lives."</p><p>Morgana put his paws over his head. "If you keep talking about this I'm leaving!"</p><p>Makoto looked at Haru. "That's very a mature outlook, Haru."</p><p>She grinned. "I try. Someone has to balance out Ryuji, after all."</p><p>Ryuji looked at Haru in shock, then around at everyone else. "Dude! Did I just get roasted by <em>Haru</em>?!"</p><p>"Did you really think I didn't have it in me? I'm hurt, Ryuji." Haru pouted.</p><p>He quickly held up his hands, waving them back and forth. "No! I was just surprised cause you don't usually do it! I didn't think you weren't capable or nothin'."</p><p>She crossed her arms, expression unchanging.</p><p>Ryuji was growing increasingly nervous, and he began to blush slightly. "Uh.. Can I make it up to ya, or something..? I didn't mean anything by it, promise!"</p><p>In an instant, she returned to her usual peppy self. "Oh, well in that case, I've been meaning to move quite a few things in my room, would you be so kind as to come over to help?"</p><p>Ryuji was dumbfounded, and the other thieves weren't faring much better. "..I just got totally played. I said I would help, so I'll help; but damn, that was <em>ruthless</em>."</p><p>Haru stood and smoothed out her skirt. "Indeed! Well, come along then!"</p><p>Ryuji startled. "What, like, <em>now</em>?!"</p><p>Akira gestured to Haru. "You heard the lady."</p><p>He looked between them for a moment before shrugging and standing to follow after her. "..I guess I'll see you guys later!"</p><p>Haru waved as she descended the stairs. "Have a good evening!"</p><p>There was a long silence as the remaining Thieves digested the latest in the never-ending parade of shenanigans that their lives brought them. "So.. I'm gonna go get crepes with Shiho here pretty soon, anyone else wanna tag along?"</p><p>There was a collective snicker as Morgana bounced up and down excitedly. "Ooh, me! Me! I wanna go!"</p><p>"You <em>do</em> know Shiho still won't be able to understand you, right?"</p><p>Futaba didn't look up from her computer. "Pull the same stunt, see if it works on normal people."</p><p>Ann made a confused face. "Won't we need a group for that?"</p><p>Futaba waved airily. "Nah, just say you've got a bunch of recordings of us impersonating Ryuji's 'For real?!'"</p><p>Akira was startled by the accuracy of the impression. "Since when can you do voices like that?! I mean, yeah, you still sound like you, but the cadence and inflection were <em>spot on</em>."</p><p>"Nyeh heh heh, I have my ways.. But anyway, I sent you the clip of me saying that just now already, now we just gotta record everyone else." Futaba pointed at Akira. "You first!"</p><p>Akira dutifully obliged, and Makoto snorted. "That sounds so weird coming from you."</p><p>"It is <em>just</em> as weird to hear it out of my own mouth." He smirked. "Your turn."</p><p>She sighed. "Don't we just need Morgana now?"</p><p>"No way, if we're doing this I wanna have the full set! I'll get Haru to do it later." Futaba pointed at Makoto. "Go!"</p><p>She sighed, then closed her eyes. There was a long pause before she opened her eyes, delivering Ryuji's classic exclamation.</p><p>"Perfect! Not bad, Makoto!"</p><p>"Please, that sounded <em>nothing</em> like him," Makoto scooted closer to Akira and buried her face in the crook of his neck. "That was just embarrassing.."</p><p>Akira stroked her hair gently. "Nah, she's right. Your voice is just really different from his, that was pretty solid considering you've A: Never practiced, and B: It was an uphill battle to begin with."</p><p>"..Thanks, Akira. You always know what to say." She kissed his cheek.</p><p>Futaba pointed at Yusuke. "Inari! Go!"</p><p>With zero hesitation, Yusuke delivered a nearly perfect impression. The group was stunned. "Holy crap Inari, that was <em>fantastic</em>! You even got the body language and facial expression right!"</p><p>He smiled demurely. "I <em>have</em> spent a lot of time around him, and we have similar voices. It wasn't too difficult to recall the image of him saying it, as visual recall is essential for an artist. I simply took the emotion therein and did my best to deliver it the way he would."</p><p>"Still, that was.. wow. That was really something."</p><p>"Man, why do I gotta follow <em>that</em>?" Morgana pouted.</p><p>Futaba snickered. "Because reasons! Go!" She pointed dramatically at Morgana, who obliged her. "You know? Not bad. You got the pitch impressively close, considering the physical size of your body."</p><p>"Well thank you, I like to think I'm a man of many talents." Morgana preened a little.</p><p>Ann started as she realized she was the only one left. She puffed herself up, then made eye contact with Futaba to make sure she was ready.</p><p>Her voice cracked on the 'real', and the group collectively burst out laughing. "Okay, okay, do over."</p><p>Futaba cackled. "Nope! You get one shot, just like everyone else!"</p><p>"But it's so baaad," Ann whined.</p><p>Futaba gave her a knowing look. "Yeah, which means Shiho is gonna think it's the funniest thing she's ever heard."</p><p>Ann was silent a moment. "..alright, fine. But only for Shiho."</p><p>"You're such a good friend to her, Ann." The group exchanged nervous looks at Morgana's comment.</p><p>Ann had no such compunctions, scooping up Morgana and making her way out. "She's the great one between the two of us." She waved on her way out. "I'll let you guys know how it went!"</p><p>"Sounds good!" Futaba called back. "And then there were four."</p><p>"Indeed." Yusuke laid and stretched out in the middle of the floor.</p><p>The other three looked at him curiously. Akira snorted. "Uh, Yusuke?"</p><p>He didn't move. "Yes?"</p><p>"..<em>Why</em>?"</p><p>"I 'felt like it', as Futaba says. She thinks I should do more things for their own sake rather than as a means to improve my art." He closed his eyes, the picture of serenity.</p><p>"That's.. very existential, but also very good advice. Things can be for their own sake." Makoto smiled. "I'm glad you're looking out for each other."</p><p>Futaba beamed. "Hell yeah! We gotta stick together; plus Inari's the only one who doesn't mind when I talk about whatever happens to be on my mind for hours on end."</p><p>"I have drawn inspiration for several pieces from Futaba's infodumps. I cannot claim to understand everything she says—or even most of it—but I find it enjoyable to listen to people be excited about their interests."</p><p>"I've always liked that about you. It's really sweet, Yusuke." Futaba smiled down at him, even though he couldn't see her. She then turned to Akira and Makoto like a deer in the headlights as she realized she wasn't alone.</p><p>Akira and Makoto looked at each other, then back at a rapidly reddening Futaba. "I think that was the most genuine, heartfelt thing I've ever heard you say."</p><p>"Oh, shut it.." She hid behind her laptop for a moment before a loud growl broke the tension. Predictably, it was Yusuke's stomach. "Dude, Inari! You gotta eat!"</p><p>"Apologies, after so long living with little to no food, I sometimes find myself ignoring my hunger without noticing."</p><p>"..I am so glad we got you out of there. You didn't deserve that."</p><p>"Yes. It was dismal at best, and fatal at worst. But, such was life living under Bastard-sensei."</p><p>Makoto spluttered, and Akira cackled. "Oh my god, <em>Bastard-sensei</em>! That's <em>amazing</em>!"</p><p>Yusuke sat up gracefully and smiled at Futaba. "It was her idea. I kept finding myself tacking 'sensei' on to his name without thinking about it, and it was starting to become rather infuriating. She suggested I simply stop trying to drop the honorific, but instead change the name to make it sarcastic. I must say, it was satisfying then, and it is satisfying now. I am free of him, and never shall I need to darken a room with his name again."</p><p>"I'm proud of you, Yusuke. It's difficult to make those kinds of adjustments." Makoto smiled.</p><p>"Thank you; your praise is appreciated."</p><p>"I hunger! C'mon Inari, I want takoyaki. But! Not just any takoyaki!"</p><p>He raised an eyebrow with a smile. "'It must be the very best'?" He recited, causing Futaba to deflate slightly. "Then we shall find you the very best; perhaps even like no takoyaki ever was."</p><p>The three stared yet again at their enigmatic artist friend. "..Was that a reference to the first run of the American Pokémon TV show?" Akira was dumbfounded. "No one <em>ever</em> knows that song!"</p><p>Futaba was staring at him very intently, and Yusuke tilted his head. "You're making a rather strange face. Did I quote it incorrectly?"</p><p>Futaba closed her laptop, set it on the seat next to her, and stood up. She grabbed Yusuke's wrist and hauled him onto his feet, then dragged him—admittedly with some difficulty—toward the attic stairs. "Change of plans. We can get takoyaki later."</p><p>"Have I done something wrong?" Yusuke seemed calm, but Akira and Makoto knew the subtle signs of panic.</p><p>Makoto giggled. "Don't worry, you're not in trouble."</p><p>He tilted his head again. "Then I'm afraid I don't understand."</p><p>He was completely ignoring the tugging at his arm; now that he had stopped to listen, Futaba was quickly discovering that he was fucking <em>unmovable</em>. "Argh! Inari! Ugh, fine, I'll explain. Akira, cover your ears. Or Makoto do it."</p><p>Makoto dutifully covered his ears, ignoring his protestations at first, and then rolling her eyes and swinging a leg over his lap to silence his objections. "Akira?"</p><p>"..sorry, Queen."</p><p>She smiled. "Alright. Go ahead."</p><p>As soon as she knew Akira couldn't hear her, she spun Yusuke around and grabbed his face in both hands. "Inari, you're not in trouble. I'm being pushy because the Pokémon reference was totally unexpected but also probably the best joke you could have possibly made as far as I'm concerned."</p><p>"Oh, good. I still don't understand the change of plans, however. Shouldn't that solidify our food choice?"</p><p>Futaba sighed with a faint smile. "Right. You don't do subtext very well. Fine. Makoto, I apologize for my language."</p><p>"Wait, you're apologizing <em>preemptively</em>?!" Makoto had no more time than that to react before Futaba continued.</p><p>She looked him dead in the eyes. "You have been nothing but sweet and adorable all night and then you hit me with <em>that</em>, and my heart can't take any more without doing something about it. So I'm taking you home to my apartment, and once we're there I'm going to get nice and comfortable, and you're going to fuck me into next week. I'm not asking you to 'make love' to me, as good at that as you are; I want you to rail me until I can't remember what day it is. I don't want to be able to walk tomorrow. How's that for clear?"</p><p>Makoto's face was crimson, and Akira couldn't help but wonder what Futaba could have possibly said to make her face turn that red. "That does clear things up, yes. Thank you for being patient with me, Futaba."</p><p>"Oh my <em>GOD</em> okay we're going, <em>right</em> now, because if I let you say anything else considerate and adorable I'm going to end up jumping you right here."</p><p>"Please don't traumatize your brother," Makoto managed to squeak out.</p><p>Futaba waved a hand. "He's adopted anyway. But I won't, cause I'm not into that."</p><p>She then led/dragged Yusuke out of the room—Akira was beginning to suspect she liked to feel strong and in charge, and that Yusuke just went along with it. He leaned over, and sure enough, Yusuke was still wearing the Atlas Anklet from their Phantom Thief days.</p><p>It didn't do anything anymore, but Yusuke said that he wore it for so long that he can still clearly remember the feeling of putting it on, the rush of <em>power</em>. It makes him <em>feel</em> stronger, apparently, and if they've learned anything about cognition, that means it actually <em>does</em> make him stronger.</p><p>So it's not magic anymore... unless you're Yusuke, because he wore it so much that the magic became cognitive muscle memory. The irony was not lost on them that the reedy artist of the group was also the strongest.</p><p>Makoto let go of his ears. "Sorry, dear. She said some rather.. <em>explicit</em> things."</p><p>He snorted. "What, does she think I think she's a sweet summer child? The literal first thing she did that wasn't related to the team was roast me for my browser history, and then suggest alternatives that 'sucked less'."</p><p>Makoto's jaw dropped. "Did she really? ..<em>were</em> they any good?"</p><p>"Every. Single. One. It was honestly kind of uncanny. It was weird; but so is she, so I just kinda didn't bring it up again and moved on. I hadn't been adopted yet, so that wasn't an issue." He smirked. "Why, did you want her to give <em>you</em> a recommendations list?"</p><p>She fixed him with a level stare. "So what if I do?"</p><p>"Oh, okay! I was just teasing you to make you flustered, I wasn't trying to imply you couldn't be interested. I'm just insufferable," Makoto snorted, and he grinned. "Shoot her a text, she'll probably be happy to help! Plus from the conversation earlier it seems that you and she have at least <em>one</em> preference in common." Akira considered for a moment. "Though it could be that Yusuke is just like, a hella bottom."</p><p>Makoto was blushing again. "No, I don't think that's the case."</p><p>Akira raised his eyebrows. "Oh? You know what, I don't wanna know. He'll tell me if he wants to."</p><p>"Speaking of which, though.." Makoto smiled slowly, pushing on his shoulders and tipping him over on the bed.</p><p>"Come get me Queen; your kingdom awaits."</p><p>She laid her forehead on his chest. "Oh my god Akira that was so <em>cheesy</em>."</p><p>He grinned. "You love me for it."</p><p>"Yes," She kissed his forehead. "Yes I do."</p>
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